DESIRE

I remember reading in a book by Larry Crabb in grad school called, THE SAFEST PLACE ON EARTH. The curriculum required that we reflect on our readings and its impact on us. There was a part of the book that stood out to me where Crabb spoke about desire and how our appetites can be insatiable. I could relate to that then and I most certainly can relate to it now.

I have a few desires that seem to be incredibly powerful and difficult to overcome. These things are found in the area of food, sex, and passion (passion being outburst of anger). In some ways I think that the issue of food and sex are particularly difficult because these things were created for our pleasure and enjoyment. Like most things, they were created with a context for enjoyment. It's staying within the context that seems to be the problem.

I love food. I strongly hold to the belief that food and taste are gifts from God and ought to be enjoyed. I shall not deny His goodness. Problem is, I tend to enjoy that goodness to the point of unhealthy living. Moderation is tough. Per my doctor and high blood pressure I need to lose some lbs. Yet, it's tough when you have a ferocious passion for good eatin'. Although I work out regularly I struggle to drop the pounds. In the past I could say it was ok because I was full of muscle. That's not the case anymore and my HBP is evidence of the situation.

Sex is another great love of mine. Women are a great love of mine. The combination of the two are deadly dangerous. I believe in abstinance. I believe that sex is to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. At the same time I know the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. I think the flesh is particularly weak when you have experienced sex in the context of marriage and that context is removed from you. The transition from married and active to single and celibate is a massive struggle.

It is in times like this that I ask for God's strength and the power to overcome. I also ask for God's mercy because I know the battle is not always won. There are other desires that I know must be confronted. These issues are front and center. There are strategies that can be employed to combat these issues. I believe they are effective...not foolproof. Accountability is big. Avoidence is good too. A plan of action for escape and alternatives is helpful as well. I use these. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose. Cursed be these desires!