Crocker Chronicle: Why Single Women Need To Wait For The Right Man

Crocker Chronicle: Why Single Women Need To Wait For The Right Man: Photo Credit: de.laina Here are some challenging thoughts from Ruthie Dean urging single women to wait on the right mate by being the r...

You Testify Against Yourselves

Over the last couple of years I have tried to divorce myself from the Church at large. I have tried to portray myself as something "other," something set apart from the mainstream church. I've done so because I have been fed up with how much those that claim to follow God look like those that have no allegiance to God whatsoever. I've grown tired of the greed, materialism, hypocrisy, dishonesty, and callousness that has infected the Church.

I have become convinced that there is no rescue in sight for the church. I thought about joining others of like mind to start a movement that would seek to produce believers of a more pure heart-closer to the faith as it is as oppose to the faith as we have made it. Disillusioned, I began to believe that no matter how you start out the ailments of the church would eventually seep in no matter what your resolve. I didn't want to reflect what was already here. Hence, I gave up and resigned myself to a personal if not private faith.

I picked up one of my old books from Seminary the other day, THE STORY OF CHRISTIANITY. I expected to get a refresher on the history of the church from it's origins to the modern day. It was during my reading of the first few pages that I was convicted about my desire to divorce myself from the Church. The writer so honestly and eloquently stated;

"Like it or not, we are heirs of this host of diverse and even contradictory witnesses. Some of their actions we may find revolting, and others inspiring. But all of them form part of our history. All of them, those whom we admire as well as those whom we despise, brought us to where we are now."

This has long been my belief. As a protestant believer I often confront my brothers and sisters when they are critical of the Catholic Church because they in fact brought us to where we are today. Without them, there would be no us. Now, here I am trying to do the same thing I have found myself critical of. This realization has caused a sense of guilt and a need for repentance.

I can no more divorce myself from the recent history of the Church than I can from the distant past. As a believer in Christ I am bound to Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Christ, the Apostles, the early Church, the Catholic Church, the Reformers, and the Church of today. There is no getting away from this. There is no escape. Instead, there is a testimony that I speak whether I desire to or not. I am them and they are me.

This is not to say that I can not be critical, strongly disagree, nor offer an alternative for how faith is taught, practiced, and lived out daily. I have both right and responsibility to do so. Silence and inaction can often be as agreeable to wrong doing as the very actions themselves. There will be no washing of the hands through distance or lack of participation.

In Matthew 23:31 Jesus declares, "So you testify against yourselves, that you are the sons of those who murdered the prophets." This has always been a piercing exchange between Christ and the Pharisees. It is now piercing to my very hurt as I too testify that I am the son of those that have misrepresented the church. I shall not plead innocence. Instead, I will seek to make an amends by righting the wrongs of those before me.

It's funny when you talk to yourself

The other day while having a discussion with a friend about life, finance, struggles, and fighting I found myself speaking to myself. My friend was complaining about not being able to get ahead financially. This is hard for me to grasp in that they have no kids, no rent, no animals, and make as much as I do if not more. In any event, I made some recommendations and they were met with rejection tailed by a sense of comfort in just complaining. This is where I began to speak to myself.

I told my friend that you can complain, B$tch, moan, and whine, but don't give up! I have never taken issue with complaining because I know it hurts. What I do take issue with is complaining without action, complaining without a fight. In such cases folks have resigned themselves to their situation and if that's the case-SHUT UP! I complain a ton about life and what's not going the way I think it should or want it to. Yet, I fight to exhaustion to try to make changes for the better in those things I control.

It was in the midst of this discussion that I saw a mirror. I immediately thought about my faith and how I have complained to high heaven about all that is wrong with God's people and institutions. Despite my complaints, I've done very little to make things better. Part of that is born out of my honest feelings of disappointment in how I think God should respond to my situation. Couple that with my anger towards those I once respected, followed, and looked up to in the as leaders in the faith and you have an inactive believer.

Nevertheless, none of this is a good enough reason to deny the truest thing I know. If I can't and don't give up on the things of this world how could I do so on the God of the universe and the faith that has guided the majority of my adulthood? Truth is, I can't. I'm not certain what I'm going to do with this epiphany. I know some action is necessary. What I do know is that I'm not going to give up.