Crocker Chronicle: Why Single Women Need To Wait For The Right Man

Crocker Chronicle: Why Single Women Need To Wait For The Right Man: Photo Credit: de.laina Here are some challenging thoughts from Ruthie Dean urging single women to wait on the right mate by being the r...

You Testify Against Yourselves

Over the last couple of years I have tried to divorce myself from the Church at large. I have tried to portray myself as something "other," something set apart from the mainstream church. I've done so because I have been fed up with how much those that claim to follow God look like those that have no allegiance to God whatsoever. I've grown tired of the greed, materialism, hypocrisy, dishonesty, and callousness that has infected the Church.

I have become convinced that there is no rescue in sight for the church. I thought about joining others of like mind to start a movement that would seek to produce believers of a more pure heart-closer to the faith as it is as oppose to the faith as we have made it. Disillusioned, I began to believe that no matter how you start out the ailments of the church would eventually seep in no matter what your resolve. I didn't want to reflect what was already here. Hence, I gave up and resigned myself to a personal if not private faith.

I picked up one of my old books from Seminary the other day, THE STORY OF CHRISTIANITY. I expected to get a refresher on the history of the church from it's origins to the modern day. It was during my reading of the first few pages that I was convicted about my desire to divorce myself from the Church. The writer so honestly and eloquently stated;

"Like it or not, we are heirs of this host of diverse and even contradictory witnesses. Some of their actions we may find revolting, and others inspiring. But all of them form part of our history. All of them, those whom we admire as well as those whom we despise, brought us to where we are now."

This has long been my belief. As a protestant believer I often confront my brothers and sisters when they are critical of the Catholic Church because they in fact brought us to where we are today. Without them, there would be no us. Now, here I am trying to do the same thing I have found myself critical of. This realization has caused a sense of guilt and a need for repentance.

I can no more divorce myself from the recent history of the Church than I can from the distant past. As a believer in Christ I am bound to Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Christ, the Apostles, the early Church, the Catholic Church, the Reformers, and the Church of today. There is no getting away from this. There is no escape. Instead, there is a testimony that I speak whether I desire to or not. I am them and they are me.

This is not to say that I can not be critical, strongly disagree, nor offer an alternative for how faith is taught, practiced, and lived out daily. I have both right and responsibility to do so. Silence and inaction can often be as agreeable to wrong doing as the very actions themselves. There will be no washing of the hands through distance or lack of participation.

In Matthew 23:31 Jesus declares, "So you testify against yourselves, that you are the sons of those who murdered the prophets." This has always been a piercing exchange between Christ and the Pharisees. It is now piercing to my very hurt as I too testify that I am the son of those that have misrepresented the church. I shall not plead innocence. Instead, I will seek to make an amends by righting the wrongs of those before me.

It's funny when you talk to yourself

The other day while having a discussion with a friend about life, finance, struggles, and fighting I found myself speaking to myself. My friend was complaining about not being able to get ahead financially. This is hard for me to grasp in that they have no kids, no rent, no animals, and make as much as I do if not more. In any event, I made some recommendations and they were met with rejection tailed by a sense of comfort in just complaining. This is where I began to speak to myself.

I told my friend that you can complain, B$tch, moan, and whine, but don't give up! I have never taken issue with complaining because I know it hurts. What I do take issue with is complaining without action, complaining without a fight. In such cases folks have resigned themselves to their situation and if that's the case-SHUT UP! I complain a ton about life and what's not going the way I think it should or want it to. Yet, I fight to exhaustion to try to make changes for the better in those things I control.

It was in the midst of this discussion that I saw a mirror. I immediately thought about my faith and how I have complained to high heaven about all that is wrong with God's people and institutions. Despite my complaints, I've done very little to make things better. Part of that is born out of my honest feelings of disappointment in how I think God should respond to my situation. Couple that with my anger towards those I once respected, followed, and looked up to in the as leaders in the faith and you have an inactive believer.

Nevertheless, none of this is a good enough reason to deny the truest thing I know. If I can't and don't give up on the things of this world how could I do so on the God of the universe and the faith that has guided the majority of my adulthood? Truth is, I can't. I'm not certain what I'm going to do with this epiphany. I know some action is necessary. What I do know is that I'm not going to give up.

The marketing of Jahovah

This past week I finally sat down and had a conversation with a pair of Jehovah Witnesses (JW's) that have been coming to my home for the past year or so. I wasn't meeting with them to give them a platform for their "gospel." I was meeting with them for an opportunity to share the true Gospel with them.

In my attempt to be courteous, I allowed them to lead the way with what they believed. For some reason they decided to start with Jesus Christ. Who he was. Who he is. Why he came. And, his special position in God's plan. I was bothered by the presentation. On the front end the things they said about Christ are quite similar to what an orthodox believer would say. This quickly took a turn for the worse as I knew it would.

The JW's would eventually get to a point where they were claiming that Christ is a created being. Unique as the "first born" but not a part of the God head and not God at all. They stated that he is "a god." To them, "god" is a term for excellence not Deity. They even went so far as to compare Christ to the little "g" gods in the Bible (which in a clear translation is a "no-god" or idol). I was expecting this and waited for them to unveil it.

What really bothered me is how they remained latched on Christ as if he is the lynch pin of their faith. They wouldn't move away from him. Instead they stayed incredibly close to his name. I was bothered by this because it's a deceiving approach to stay as closely associated with orthodox Christianity as possible while seeking to convert people to a non-Christian faith.

A casual believer or a non-believer could easily be deceived by such a marketing scheme. Some Christians would struggle with debate as to who Christ is. This ploy to market JW as a Christian faith is not unique to them. Years ago the Mormon's were instructed by a marketing firm to promote Jesus as the pinnacle of their faith. How deceptive.

I shouldn't be surprised by all this. Satan did his best to deceive Christ by quoting scriptures out of context. He is a crafty foe. Of course his tactics haven't changed as he seeks to draw people away from the truth. Christians must be on guard for such schemes and continue to preach the truth. Truth must win over marketing and deception.

Resurrection Hope

On this Easter Sunday I look back over the past year and I am thankful for God's grace. One year ago my marriage came to a screeching halt. I could not sleep. I could not rest. I could not find peace. Not even the assistance of drugs could provide a good nights sleep. One thing did happen to provide significant dependable assistance in finding rest, ALCOHOL. Not exactly the drink of champions.

I had counted my life as worthless. Having counted my life as worthless I had serious thoughts to kill myself. I was homicidal, suicidal, and hopeless. I had drugs, alcohol, and no one to stop me. I even looked to get a hold of a firearm for purposes of vengeance. One night while laying in the bed I could focus on nothing but ending it all. I was so close it scares me.

At that time I couldn't see past the moment. There was nothing in life at that time worth suffering through. There was nothing in my mind that could have held me here. Today could very well be the anniversary of my death. My children would have suffered. My family would have suffered. My friends would have suffered. And although I thought I was escaping suffering I would likely have suffered from taking the reigns of life from God.

It was by God's grace and mercy that I did not execute my plan. I'd like to tell you that things immediately improved but that's not reality. Truth is, I continued to struggle. I struggled financially, emotionally, spiritually, vocationally, and in any number of other ways. I nearly lost my home. I was investigated by my employer at the request of my supervisor. I am currently facing possible layoffs from work. The bank made a mistake that almost cost me a thousand dollars or more and on and on...struggles have abounded. Yet, I'm happy to be alive.

I'm happy to be alive because I have my children, my pride and joy! I'm happy to be alive because God aloud me to play a part in helping my best friend realize his dream! I'm happy because I have come to a new understanding of my faith and what it truly means to be Christian. I'm happy because I am alive, I have hope, I have a future, and God is not finished with me yet.

I know what it feels like to face your deepest fears. I know what it feels like to believe that there is nothing left to fight for, no reason to live. I know what it feels like to be alone with your darkest thoughts. I have been to the edge of reason and logic. I have been to the ends of myself. I now know a foretaste of what Resurrection will be like. My life was over. I was dead. Now I am alive. Thank you Jesus!

DOES IT MATTER?

While doing laundry this morning I came across a book I haven't picked up for years. This is a book on leadership, business, or life in general. It's not necessarily a spiritual book. Yet oddly enough, this book was recommend by my church. Not only was it recommended, it was turned into a sermon series on living. Not only that, but it was made a part of leadership development/training. What book was this, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.

I've read this book multiple times over. I think in some ways I figured if I could just memorize the principles of the book I'd be a better person. I'd be "Effective." Yet, as I look at all the resources of time, money, effort, and promotion placed into this book and program I'm wondering if it mattered? I'm wondering if it was effective? And if it was effective, was it effective at the stated aim? Please understand that I think it's a great book. I think if one can follow it they may find more success in life. But does it matter concerning a life of faith? Does it build up the Kingdom of God? Are souls saved?

I'm not just asking this question about this book. I'm asking these questions about much of the activity of our church today. When I look at the concerts, the building projects, the conferences, etc...etc...does any of this matter toward really building people in the Faith? Or, is it just business? Are we just doing things to fill the time?

These questions matter a great deal. Some activity is assumed to be a part of church activity. Such things as gyms, kitchens, schools, and what not are often seen as goals that judge effectiveness. I ask, are we just chasing society, common church culture, and wasting time? It may sound critical and mean. That is not my intention. Any one of these issues is not bad or negative. However, if we provide the community with entertainment and service, but no life changing Gospel what is the point?

What may be worse is the fact that in all of our efforts it's obvious that we are not making disciples. People of the faith don't know what they believe. They don't know why they believe. They have no sense of purpose in God's Kingdom. There is a clear break in Christian development and leadership succession. Such things require intimate time. This is where the dirty work is done. You can't just throw money at discipleship. You have to engage on a personal level. You have to be transparent and available.

As the word says, Iron sharpens Iron. In order for that to take place one has to be close. I'm asking that we examine our activities in the Church. I'm hoping we will move away from this corporate model of business we've been chasing and return to the model of the Master. One of love, friendship, protector.....a Shepherd. Whatever your activities, ask yourself does it matter?

DESIRE

I remember reading in a book by Larry Crabb in grad school called, THE SAFEST PLACE ON EARTH. The curriculum required that we reflect on our readings and its impact on us. There was a part of the book that stood out to me where Crabb spoke about desire and how our appetites can be insatiable. I could relate to that then and I most certainly can relate to it now.

I have a few desires that seem to be incredibly powerful and difficult to overcome. These things are found in the area of food, sex, and passion (passion being outburst of anger). In some ways I think that the issue of food and sex are particularly difficult because these things were created for our pleasure and enjoyment. Like most things, they were created with a context for enjoyment. It's staying within the context that seems to be the problem.

I love food. I strongly hold to the belief that food and taste are gifts from God and ought to be enjoyed. I shall not deny His goodness. Problem is, I tend to enjoy that goodness to the point of unhealthy living. Moderation is tough. Per my doctor and high blood pressure I need to lose some lbs. Yet, it's tough when you have a ferocious passion for good eatin'. Although I work out regularly I struggle to drop the pounds. In the past I could say it was ok because I was full of muscle. That's not the case anymore and my HBP is evidence of the situation.

Sex is another great love of mine. Women are a great love of mine. The combination of the two are deadly dangerous. I believe in abstinance. I believe that sex is to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. At the same time I know the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. I think the flesh is particularly weak when you have experienced sex in the context of marriage and that context is removed from you. The transition from married and active to single and celibate is a massive struggle.

It is in times like this that I ask for God's strength and the power to overcome. I also ask for God's mercy because I know the battle is not always won. There are other desires that I know must be confronted. These issues are front and center. There are strategies that can be employed to combat these issues. I believe they are effective...not foolproof. Accountability is big. Avoidence is good too. A plan of action for escape and alternatives is helpful as well. I use these. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose. Cursed be these desires!