Is God speaking to me?

Lately, I have been very concerned about if I am hearing God's voice. I have been reading Hearing God by Dallas Willard. I think the book offers great insight into hearing God through a conversational relationship. As of late I keep hearing a recurring theme over and over from various sources concerning God's plan for my life. It's not new and certainly not foreign. I have heard this "call" before.

In a lot of ways I think answering this call will unlock the rest of my life. I think it is as Darth Vader would say, "My Destiny." There is a great deal of risk, dedication, cost (financial and time wise), and faith needed to pursue this call. I have tried to pursue this twice. My first attempt ended miserably. My second attempt was close, but no cigar. Having crashed and burned twice I was thinking of pursuing something different all together. I had given up on what I believed to be my call.

Giving up on my call has come with a cost. My faith took a hit, my self-respect took a hit, and the level of respect of those close to me has taken a hit. This is common when you express your hopes, dreams, and plans and are not able to see them through to the end. It hurts to not obtain your dream. It also hurts to have those around you question your credibility. I think most people have experienced this at some level one way or another. The pain of failure can make it difficult to carry on with that dream. Nevertheless, those that do tend to be those we look up to.

So hear I am looking for another way to use the gifts and talents God has given me. With the disappointments of past failures weighing heavily upon me I was thinking, "won't do that again." However, that is not God's plan. God keeps sending people my way to remind me of his call on my life. These folks pop up unprompted. Out of no where they ask me if, "I have ever thought of _____?" Or they say, "you know you are called to...." Embarrassed that I can not say that I am in fact doing God's call I sheepishly answer, "Yeah, I've thought about it." I find myself thinking about it more and more as these reminders come in greater frequency.

This leads me to only one conclusion-GOD MUST BE SPEAKING. I would like to continue to ignore this and do what I want, how I want. But that does not seem like an option. I don't want to be foolish and in my search to hear God miss him altogether. I suppose the only thing left to do at this point is to answer his call and submit to the process. This is the tough part of process.

I tend to believe that most folks are like me. They want to hear God's voice, God's call. They want to know what form and shape their lives should be taking. If you're like me you may be missing God's voice altogether for no other reason than that you don't like what you are hearing. Don't let your rebellion get in the way of God's voice. Quiet yourself before him, watch for the recurring themes, and hear God speaking.