You Testify Against Yourselves

Over the last couple of years I have tried to divorce myself from the Church at large. I have tried to portray myself as something "other," something set apart from the mainstream church. I've done so because I have been fed up with how much those that claim to follow God look like those that have no allegiance to God whatsoever. I've grown tired of the greed, materialism, hypocrisy, dishonesty, and callousness that has infected the Church.

I have become convinced that there is no rescue in sight for the church. I thought about joining others of like mind to start a movement that would seek to produce believers of a more pure heart-closer to the faith as it is as oppose to the faith as we have made it. Disillusioned, I began to believe that no matter how you start out the ailments of the church would eventually seep in no matter what your resolve. I didn't want to reflect what was already here. Hence, I gave up and resigned myself to a personal if not private faith.

I picked up one of my old books from Seminary the other day, THE STORY OF CHRISTIANITY. I expected to get a refresher on the history of the church from it's origins to the modern day. It was during my reading of the first few pages that I was convicted about my desire to divorce myself from the Church. The writer so honestly and eloquently stated;

"Like it or not, we are heirs of this host of diverse and even contradictory witnesses. Some of their actions we may find revolting, and others inspiring. But all of them form part of our history. All of them, those whom we admire as well as those whom we despise, brought us to where we are now."

This has long been my belief. As a protestant believer I often confront my brothers and sisters when they are critical of the Catholic Church because they in fact brought us to where we are today. Without them, there would be no us. Now, here I am trying to do the same thing I have found myself critical of. This realization has caused a sense of guilt and a need for repentance.

I can no more divorce myself from the recent history of the Church than I can from the distant past. As a believer in Christ I am bound to Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Christ, the Apostles, the early Church, the Catholic Church, the Reformers, and the Church of today. There is no getting away from this. There is no escape. Instead, there is a testimony that I speak whether I desire to or not. I am them and they are me.

This is not to say that I can not be critical, strongly disagree, nor offer an alternative for how faith is taught, practiced, and lived out daily. I have both right and responsibility to do so. Silence and inaction can often be as agreeable to wrong doing as the very actions themselves. There will be no washing of the hands through distance or lack of participation.

In Matthew 23:31 Jesus declares, "So you testify against yourselves, that you are the sons of those who murdered the prophets." This has always been a piercing exchange between Christ and the Pharisees. It is now piercing to my very hurt as I too testify that I am the son of those that have misrepresented the church. I shall not plead innocence. Instead, I will seek to make an amends by righting the wrongs of those before me.