Man, Life is Hard!!!

I haven't written anything in a long time. There are multiple reasons for this. For one, I don't feel very spiritual lately. Truth is my heart just isn't in it. The second issue is that I've been coaching my son's T-ball team and that took quite a bit out of my free time. Last but not least, I've had one Hell of a year!

I won't go into the details but I must say life is much harder than I have ever expected. I took a shot that was so jolting I don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life at this point. There are so many questions, so few answers, and so much uncertainty. It's crazy.

Have you ever had a life altering experience so great that it has caused you to rethink everything you knew to be true? I have and I wish I hadn't. I have actually had two of these events take place in my life. The first was salvation. That was like being pulled out of the Matrix. I saw the world as it truly was; full of sinners and fools in deep need of Jesus Christ.

The second earth shattering event I can't even speak of because it's too much and too messy. Just know this...It appears to have been equally as powerful, in the negative, as my salvation experience. On one hand this has opened an opportunity for a fresh start. I have been brought to a crossroad and a decision must be made. You hear stories all the time of Christians that go through incredibly difficult times and come out better for it. I hope that's me.

On the other hand, there is such an anger, such a pain, such disillusionment, that I don't know if I want to come out better. I am a man faced with the harsh realities of life. This world is cruel. The people are cruel, the system is cruel, and no doubt there is no compassion in the to be found in the devil or his minions. Such suffering and confusion....what is one to do? I thought I knew the answer. I thought do the right thing and life will be good. I have done the right thing most of my life. It seems that it has been to no avail. Now I am asking the honest question of myself, "Is it worth it?"

I really don't know where to go from here. I don't know if it's worth it? Both ways...I don't know if it's worth it to struggle for righteousness despite the pain or if it's worth it to struggle in sin with momentary thrills with long term pain? I just don't know. What I do know is that life is hard...damn hard.

The late Ron Johnson used to say, "Life is Hard from the womb to the tomb, from the cradle to the grave, from the time you check in till the time you check out, life is a struggle." His son Charles would later add, "But, as long as I'm alive I still have a chance." I know what Ron said to be true. I hope I come to find that Charles was correct in his amendment.